Posted by Happy Homemaker UK

Nervous Nellie Walks Home After Test

So let's just cut to the chase. Nervous Nellie FAILED! I can't believe I actually failed the Hazard Perception part of the driving test. The horror!

The Hazard Perception test is like playing a video game with cars pulling out in front of you, pedestrians running across the road, Godzilla gobbling up buildings. Click the hazard developing; earn points on reaction time.

Okay, so I was a wee distracted by the beautiful countrysides and quaint villages we drove through on the video. Can you blame me?

[source: pinterest]

But I attribute the unfortunate score to being confused. I had been studying one way, and then a dear friend told me 24 hours before the exam to take it another way, which was confirmed by the test center.

So now I have a call into a driving instructor to get me 'sorted out' for the retest in two weeks. Agh! Although I passed the written exam, I have to take it again since it is a package deal.

So here's the breakdown of the day...

I gave myself 2 hours to get to the testing site since it was really far away in an unfamiliar area. I needed every minute.

So get this - as I was entering the town, I actually recognized it from my practice videos. It was wild to actually drive in my Hazard Perception practice video.

I drove wild-eyed around and around that one-way streeted town trying to find a place to park. I zeroed in on a structure with a really tight round-a-round upward entry that rocketed me up 7 levels. Feeling slightly dizzy and nauseous (and nearly scraping the walls), I finally found a space that would accommodate my large-ish vehicle. Shouldn't I have been handed a UK drivers license right then and there just for making it through motorways, one way streets, and tight parking structures successfully? No one hurt, and no property or livestock damaged?

Once parked, I spied the posted sign that stated clearly that I was not to steal petrol from other cars. Really?! Great...

So I took the exit door and found myself inside a big shopping mall with elderly people wandering about in silence. Weird. I just needed to find the street, but I was too nervous to ask one of those scary tattooed men where to find it. What if he stole my purse with my provisional license in it?! Was his friend currently syphoning my gas? So I asked an elderly man, who pointed the way.

[source: pinterest]

I was feeling pretty discombobulated at the test center having been 'lost' for the last hour - in town, the lot, the mall, and then on the street - but the lady behind the counter was friendly (yea) and asked if I wanted to take my test in English. Being the funny girl that I am (ha ha), I told her I'd prefer to take it in 'American' - she gave a polite smile (or was that a wince?), and she rewarded my humor with the 'GOTTCHA' version of the test.

Next, I had to empty my pockets and put everything, except my provisional license, in a locker.

I sat down at my assigned computer. I thought for sure I had it in the bag since I was assigned Number 19 (anything with a 9 is my lucky number). I put my key and license on the small approved rectangle on the desk. I noticed I had my own CCTV video camera staring at me the whole time.

I also had to wear a heart monitor and blood pressure cuff to monitor my bio-responses to questions. Okay, not really. But my heart was, as Junie B would say, 'very pumpy' the whole time.

There was a hand sanitizing wipe for the computer screen, since it was a touch-screen test. Honest!

You know the few times you have received news, and you have an out of body experience? Hello, that was me. When she handed me my test results, the letter read 'I am sorry to tell you that you have failed...' and my head and feet and body just elevated above the ground, and I floated past the elderly and the petrol thieves (I bet they had driving licenses!) to my car.

I wept to girlfriends on my mobile phone (hands-free) the rest of the way home and got really, deeply lost.  Home eventually, I ate a bottle of olives, a whole avocado, and bread doused with olive oil, sea salt and pepper. Fat craving, anyone? (I use 'douse' because that is what you do if someone is on fire in an accident. See, I have studied!)

You'll be happy to know my body and mind resurfaced today.

Here is a little sign idea I came up with during the drive:

I know that many are struggling with bigger issues than a silly drivers license - my heart goes out especially to girlfriends Susan and Stacey and their families - both moms with cancer with young children. It puts it all in perspective, doesn't it?

Thank you to everyone who sent me well-wishes via email and comments - you made me feel so loved! And now you get to send them again in two weeks :) Nervous Nellie says THANK YOU! Big group hug...

[source: pinterest]

Flowers for each of you!

This Post is a follow up to Nervous Nellie Gets A Drivers License, Part 2 [here]