Posted by Happy Homemaker UK


Hello Mr. Driving Test Man,

I am very scared of you and your scary test. I know too many expats who have struggled to complete this rite of passage gracefully.

I took my second driving lesson last week, and it looks like I still have a lot to work on - although I have a clean record and have been driving for over 20 years. It doesn't help that the instructor recommends 4 lessons for me, when he suggested another expat only to take 2 (!).

I try so hard not to get confused in which lane and which indicator to use in a roundabout with more than 4 arms. Perhaps peeking through hand-covered eyes is blurring my vision. And frowned upon?

An honest attempt is made to obey the speed limit, although I see it posted no where. One must be English and/or Harry Potter to see those invisible signs. That lucky broom-flying chap. And that darn handbrake alludes me (on my left side, not right). And could you tell me again why I need to apply it every time I'm stopped at a stoplight?

I sure hope I don't draw a blank when I 'tell you/show you' the brake fluid, legal tyre tread depth (1.6mm), and how to check the power steering. Couldn't I just give you the name of a local garage instead?

But chances are, I am

So I've come to grips that I have 'stressed induced asthma' just thinking about this test. Perhaps I could use an inhaler filled with wine during the exam - a little spritz would calm the nerves and clear the mind :) Our little secret?

And please forgive me if I pull over to throw-up during the exam. That's just my butterflies finding the nearest emergency exit.

I did pass the written exam on the second try, after all. They don't call me smarty-pants for nothing :) Or maybe they do. Call me that for nothing.

Ooh, let's go hunting for this sign. Like a scavenger hunt. Don't you know it is 'Fun Friday' on my blog? Wouldn't that be more fun? Testing with a twist. Maybe a friend will be holding it along my route. (Anyone, anyone?) Or maybe it will magically light up on my dashboard :) Magical, like those invisible ESP speed limit signs.


See you Friday, Mr. Driving Test Man. I'll be the one wearing a florescent safety vest and a decorative airsick bag around my neck. I'll bring a set for you too. I'm thoughtful like that.

Here's to hoping the day will be unmemorable, Mr Mister. In a good way.

Kindest regards, Nervous Nellie

If you can bear to go back in time, read about my written driving test saga here. Buried deep in another post, I did pass it two weeks later.